I'm writing for another blog soon, I guess.
An agent for some company wants to pay me one hundred grand for each blog I write because I'm that cool. They get their revenue from spamming people and from advertisements.
They like my writing and I'm even gonna be in a band! Apparently I'm good at Guitar Hero.
Well see ya, gonna go practice.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Guitar Hero
Guitar Hero is for faggots.
Let's begin:
1. Halo - Little faggy kids who never heard of fps thought this was awesome shooting with blip blip fucking shitty ass guns with a guy who can jump 20 god damn feet in the fucking air! They thought he was the awesome of cool and the only explanation for all the rooms looking like the same gray corridors is to protect the ship from intruders. They thought this was awesome and thought Half Life 2 and every other fps game that's been out there for the past 0290348390 years were ripping off Halo, even Doom.
2. Guitar Hero - Now, kids are introduced to DDR - something shitty but anyways.. it's been there since the beginning of the dark ages and they think it's the best thing in the world by playing it... ON A TOY GUITAR! Miss the good old days as a kid when you had little toy guitars? Well, time to break in a new $500 for a Halo 3 edition Xbox 360 or a $70 PS2 and play Guitar Hero! You will get Guinness records with this baby and become celebrities... just by doing something that's been done 500 years ago on a placemat!
---
That's right. World records? It happened, some spic kid got a world record for best player in Guitar Hero! Want to be cool? Get yourself a toy guitar! Are you gay? Yes!
Guitar Hero 3... not take a look at Guitar Hero: On Tour on your DS! Now you can bring your sheer awesome of cool.... ON A HANDHELD!
That's right (I said that)............ LIKE ROCKSTARS, YOU FAGGOTS ALSO HAVE TO GO ON TOUR BECAUSE YOU ARE SO COOL. GET ON STAGE AND BE THE GREATEST.
GUITAR HERO!
Let's begin:
1. Halo - Little faggy kids who never heard of fps thought this was awesome shooting with blip blip fucking shitty ass guns with a guy who can jump 20 god damn feet in the fucking air! They thought he was the awesome of cool and the only explanation for all the rooms looking like the same gray corridors is to protect the ship from intruders. They thought this was awesome and thought Half Life 2 and every other fps game that's been out there for the past 0290348390 years were ripping off Halo, even Doom.
2. Guitar Hero - Now, kids are introduced to DDR - something shitty but anyways.. it's been there since the beginning of the dark ages and they think it's the best thing in the world by playing it... ON A TOY GUITAR! Miss the good old days as a kid when you had little toy guitars? Well, time to break in a new $500 for a Halo 3 edition Xbox 360 or a $70 PS2 and play Guitar Hero! You will get Guinness records with this baby and become celebrities... just by doing something that's been done 500 years ago on a placemat!
---
That's right. World records? It happened, some spic kid got a world record for best player in Guitar Hero! Want to be cool? Get yourself a toy guitar! Are you gay? Yes!
Guitar Hero 3... not take a look at Guitar Hero: On Tour on your DS! Now you can bring your sheer awesome of cool.... ON A HANDHELD!
That's right (I said that)............ LIKE ROCKSTARS, YOU FAGGOTS ALSO HAVE TO GO ON TOUR BECAUSE YOU ARE SO COOL. GET ON STAGE AND BE THE GREATEST.
GUITAR HERO!
Monday, June 2, 2008
Give it Some time
I haven't updated in a while. Nobody comments anyways so I really need to advertise - or let this blog die.
At the moment, I am using a shitty iMac G3 because my laptop is fucking broke. I'm building a computer soon so all my worries will be over in the few months my mom takes to buy all the parts.
Then I'll be reviewing PC games or none at all. Depends.
At the moment, I am using a shitty iMac G3 because my laptop is fucking broke. I'm building a computer soon so all my worries will be over in the few months my mom takes to buy all the parts.
Then I'll be reviewing PC games or none at all. Depends.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Coming Soon
What reviews may/will you be seeing in the future?
Well:
Kingdom Hearts (1 & 2) - PS2
Mana Khemia - PS2
GTA IV - Xbox 360
Tales of Legendia - PS2
Eternal Sonata - Xbox 360
Now - Mana Khemia is NEW. It's a new PS2 game, not PS3. Well, good to see the PS2 is still living because I'm going to be reviewing a fuckload of PS2 games as well as PS1 games, then I'll move on to other consoles (I'll be doing other consoles at the same time, you won't be seeing PS2 reviews in a row).
I have played a little of Eternal Sonata.. not alot, just on the beginning. It's very.. different (in a good way) so I'll definitely be playing that game to review soon.
Stay tuned.
Well:
Kingdom Hearts (1 & 2) - PS2
Mana Khemia - PS2
GTA IV - Xbox 360
Tales of Legendia - PS2
Eternal Sonata - Xbox 360
Now - Mana Khemia is NEW. It's a new PS2 game, not PS3. Well, good to see the PS2 is still living because I'm going to be reviewing a fuckload of PS2 games as well as PS1 games, then I'll move on to other consoles (I'll be doing other consoles at the same time, you won't be seeing PS2 reviews in a row).
I have played a little of Eternal Sonata.. not alot, just on the beginning. It's very.. different (in a good way) so I'll definitely be playing that game to review soon.
Stay tuned.
Monday, May 19, 2008
List Of Consoles
I guess this is why I'm a poor "spic":
Handhelds
Gameboy Advance SP
Playstation Portable (PSP)
Consoles
Nintendo Entertainment System
Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Nintendo 64
Playstation
Playstation 2
Xbox 360
---
Consoles I've Owned
Sega Genesis
Gamegear
Gameboy
Gameboy Color
Gameboy Advance
Gamecube
---
My Older Brother
Note: The older consoles are actually given to me from him.
Dreamcast
Xbox
Playstation 2
Playstation 3
He Had
Playstation
GameGear
Handhelds
Gameboy Advance SP
Playstation Portable (PSP)
Consoles
Nintendo Entertainment System
Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Nintendo 64
Playstation
Playstation 2
Xbox 360
---
Consoles I've Owned
Sega Genesis
Gamegear
Gameboy
Gameboy Color
Gameboy Advance
Gamecube
---
My Older Brother
Note: The older consoles are actually given to me from him.
Dreamcast
Xbox
Playstation 2
Playstation 3
He Had
Playstation
GameGear
Why The Xbox 360 Sucks Dick
Networking
The Nintendo Wii, the Playstation 3, PSP, Nintendo DS - all have built-in wireless free of charge.
Not the Xbox 360.
You pay a subscription fee to get online, you pay more to buy games through it and more. It's just unbelievable that at this time of day, there's a console like this. Not even Dreamcast, do I recall, had anything like this. It worked pretty well too, even being dial-up.
To use the servers, we must pay. Lag-free and packful of features you can get on another console for free.
The Games
Alright guys, how many shooters have there been released? That's okay, say no more.
So, there's Halo which spawned the beginning of a child's favorite, gamer's hatred and a preteen's first FPS. Two sequels after, it also spawned many of clones (and at this very moment, a car just crashed.. hope it was a baby).
The Xbox 360 deserves to be in the army with this number of shooters, oh baby. All these shooters, not many games of a different genre coming out. A role-playing game, sure.. Oblivion. They decided to make it first-person since most of these shooters are, in fact, first-person (let's market to kids!).
The Problems
disc scratching -
Come on, people. Tell me you've heard of this. Okay, get this. Imagine you were playing a game, you tapped the console a bit while pulling loose a cable caught underneath the corner of the box and all of a sudden, you get a message on the screen saying that the disc is unreadable.
It happens.. alot on this thing. When I used to play a game on this (thanks to the shortage of good games, I'm not playing any on this) I would try not to touch it after one disc got scratched. I heard it was quite normal and to replace a game, you need to cough up some moolah.
overheating
This thing overheating is actually what I love alot. I would love to have this box burnt up. It's no sweat, built inside is a horrible heatsink and fan that once you turn it on, you don't need to do anything.
Exaggerating a little, but yes this thing does overheat quite alot.
red ring of death
I saved the best thing for last. The "red ring of death" as "gamers" so tastefully name it, is a major problem. Hardware issue (oh you get that alot), red ring of death.
Microsoft is known for it's "blue screen of death" which occurs alot in the older OS, not with XP or Vista much (although idiots tend to act like it still happens constantly).
Well, I guess Microsoft still missed their "of death"s that they decided to implement it right on the Xbox 360. Takes forever to repair, which they never do quite well. There's many tricks to repair it yourself available online, but you have to try several different ones to see which works.
Very hard to get it working and there's many people who went through more than one Xbox 360.
And so this is why the Xbox 360 sucks nigger dick.
Car Crash
Damnit I would love to see the damn thing but nope, I don't feel like walking.
Heard a "SCREEECH" and a "thump".
Ah, beautiful.
The Nintendo Wii, the Playstation 3, PSP, Nintendo DS - all have built-in wireless free of charge.
Not the Xbox 360.
You pay a subscription fee to get online, you pay more to buy games through it and more. It's just unbelievable that at this time of day, there's a console like this. Not even Dreamcast, do I recall, had anything like this. It worked pretty well too, even being dial-up.
To use the servers, we must pay. Lag-free and packful of features you can get on another console for free.
The Games
Alright guys, how many shooters have there been released? That's okay, say no more.
So, there's Halo which spawned the beginning of a child's favorite, gamer's hatred and a preteen's first FPS. Two sequels after, it also spawned many of clones (and at this very moment, a car just crashed.. hope it was a baby).
The Xbox 360 deserves to be in the army with this number of shooters, oh baby. All these shooters, not many games of a different genre coming out. A role-playing game, sure.. Oblivion. They decided to make it first-person since most of these shooters are, in fact, first-person (let's market to kids!).
The Problems
disc scratching -
Come on, people. Tell me you've heard of this. Okay, get this. Imagine you were playing a game, you tapped the console a bit while pulling loose a cable caught underneath the corner of the box and all of a sudden, you get a message on the screen saying that the disc is unreadable.
It happens.. alot on this thing. When I used to play a game on this (thanks to the shortage of good games, I'm not playing any on this) I would try not to touch it after one disc got scratched. I heard it was quite normal and to replace a game, you need to cough up some moolah.
overheating
This thing overheating is actually what I love alot. I would love to have this box burnt up. It's no sweat, built inside is a horrible heatsink and fan that once you turn it on, you don't need to do anything.
Exaggerating a little, but yes this thing does overheat quite alot.
red ring of death
I saved the best thing for last. The "red ring of death" as "gamers" so tastefully name it, is a major problem. Hardware issue (oh you get that alot), red ring of death.
Microsoft is known for it's "blue screen of death" which occurs alot in the older OS, not with XP or Vista much (although idiots tend to act like it still happens constantly).
Well, I guess Microsoft still missed their "of death"s that they decided to implement it right on the Xbox 360. Takes forever to repair, which they never do quite well. There's many tricks to repair it yourself available online, but you have to try several different ones to see which works.
Very hard to get it working and there's many people who went through more than one Xbox 360.
And so this is why the Xbox 360 sucks nigger dick.
Car Crash
Damnit I would love to see the damn thing but nope, I don't feel like walking.
Heard a "SCREEECH" and a "thump".
Ah, beautiful.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Halo 1 / COD4
Just wanted to throw this in after my previous article (praising my new PS2).
Halo 1 is repetitive.
I can not fucking COUNT the number of gray corridors I passed through in this game and the number of times in this fucking ship where I entered a room surrounding a round room where I shoot a shitload of monsters then fucking go to a bridge, then repeat. I couldn't finish this game because I realized how shitty Halo is (even though I just played this one, but I did watch gameplay videos of the other two and they suck dick) and how fucking REPETITIVE this game IS.
You will be seeing alot of GRAY in this game, because I guess to achieve something you need GRAY. Fuck, and I made sure my shitty TV wasn't fucking up. Trust me, this is the GRAYEST game you will ever fucking play.
The other games apparently are repetitive, so I've heard, so I am NOT GOING TO TOUCH the OTHER GOD DAMN SEQUELS. THIS GAME YOU DESTROYED A FUCKING RING, I am PRETTY sure that the ending of one of the sequels ended with Master Chief fucking up but somehow survived a nuclear bomb because that's the kind of guy he is.
So overall, this game deserves a -299,999,999,999,999/10.
COD4 -
Because this review is going to be too damn small for it's own article, I'm putting them both side by side.
COD4 sucks dick. Even for the missions where you have to be secret, there always seems to be a bunch of shit perfectly placed to hind behind under open and close-fire (which occurs alot or all the time in this game). I guess in real life somebody places forts and shit all over the world so you can survive while the enemy runs through open space as if you couldn't see them while they blindly shoot at you. Some of them even raise the gun over their head behind forts, and I've seen a video and I guess our enemy really does that (god damnit learn to shoot you fucking morons).
I guess we were meant to be winners weren't we? Or maybe there just happens to be places to hide behind.
Cardboard boxes are strong in this game too, because a bunch of fire and RPGs can never destroy the awesome that is of a cardboard box.
If a game would be realistic it'd be nice. Nobody's going to lose sense of reality if someone's worried, all you have to do is look a little bit down and see the bottom of your TV and say, "oh."
Halo 1 is repetitive.
I can not fucking COUNT the number of gray corridors I passed through in this game and the number of times in this fucking ship where I entered a room surrounding a round room where I shoot a shitload of monsters then fucking go to a bridge, then repeat. I couldn't finish this game because I realized how shitty Halo is (even though I just played this one, but I did watch gameplay videos of the other two and they suck dick) and how fucking REPETITIVE this game IS.
You will be seeing alot of GRAY in this game, because I guess to achieve something you need GRAY. Fuck, and I made sure my shitty TV wasn't fucking up. Trust me, this is the GRAYEST game you will ever fucking play.
The other games apparently are repetitive, so I've heard, so I am NOT GOING TO TOUCH the OTHER GOD DAMN SEQUELS. THIS GAME YOU DESTROYED A FUCKING RING, I am PRETTY sure that the ending of one of the sequels ended with Master Chief fucking up but somehow survived a nuclear bomb because that's the kind of guy he is.
So overall, this game deserves a -299,999,999,999,999/10.
COD4 -
Because this review is going to be too damn small for it's own article, I'm putting them both side by side.
COD4 sucks dick. Even for the missions where you have to be secret, there always seems to be a bunch of shit perfectly placed to hind behind under open and close-fire (which occurs alot or all the time in this game). I guess in real life somebody places forts and shit all over the world so you can survive while the enemy runs through open space as if you couldn't see them while they blindly shoot at you. Some of them even raise the gun over their head behind forts, and I've seen a video and I guess our enemy really does that (god damnit learn to shoot you fucking morons).
I guess we were meant to be winners weren't we? Or maybe there just happens to be places to hide behind.
Cardboard boxes are strong in this game too, because a bunch of fire and RPGs can never destroy the awesome that is of a cardboard box.
If a game would be realistic it'd be nice. Nobody's going to lose sense of reality if someone's worried, all you have to do is look a little bit down and see the bottom of your TV and say, "oh."
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